In order to build, sometimes you must first destroy
Here is how the breakdown happens:
As the stress and exhaustion and information and frustration pile on, you begin to peel off. The layers of you. The faces you show the world. The disguises you wear. It all peels back until there is nothing but raw you exposed. Every little poke hurts. Every breeze freezes you. You lose all ability to protect yourself from what once wouldn’t have bothered you.
In short: you break down.
But then, you start to scab over. Your layers start to come back one by one, some more slowly than others. Just like any scab, you may pick at it once in a while and you may even relish the pain. But mostly, you are just grateful to have your skin back. To put on your face. To see your raw self in the rearview. To be built back up.
Here’s the good part:
Every breakdown destroys the structure less thoroughly than the one before. Every build up is done more deliberately and carefully than the last. Because sometimes, you have to destroy before you can rebuild.